Popular Posts

Showing posts with label rape. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rape. Show all posts

Thursday, August 09, 2007

ABUSE IS A LEARNED BEHAVIOR

Have you ever wondered why some people are abusive and others are not? Have you ever wondered where the roots of abuse came from? Abuse is a learned behavior handed down generation to generation. Why? Think about your parents or perhaps the ones who raised you. Raise is an interesting word. Did they raise you or did they rear you? The English language has some interesting interpretations. I don’t think we would ever say “my parents taught me up.” But that is exactly what parents do.

Parents are a baby’s first role model. Second are their siblings or other members of the family group followed by peers or playmates. Fourth would be religion followed by school. However, religion and family are intertwined with some having more influence than the other. I will begin with the parents. How was the mother treated by the father? How was the father treated by the mother? Was there fighting. Was there drinking? What were their attitudes towards each other?

Next, did they have prejudices against other people or ethnic groups? What were the words they used when discussing other people? Did they use profanity? What and who did they condemn? What kind of a role model were the parents putting forth? Most of us do not know what goes on in other people’s homes. If the abuse is blatant, then we might become aware of it. There is an insidious form of abuse that is psychological and it can be in the form of verbal abuse.

Religion fosters abuse because they take away a person’s freedom of choice. In Richard Dawkins’ book The God Delusion, he writes of a Hell House created by Pastor Keenan Roberts in Arvada, Colorado. Reportedly plays are put on to show and let people experience what hell is like. The only thing is that there is no hell. It was created by man and perpetuated by religion. The only hell there is – is what is created in the mind. This is a form of abuse to the mind and to create fear. Fear is the emotion that drives people to be abusive not only to others, but to themselves as well. Fear keeps people enslaved.

The Catholic Church has a history of abuse from sexual abuse by priests and punishment by nuns such as the Magdalene Laundries in Ireland. A movie has been made about this situation where nuns virtually kidnapped women who became their slaves in the Magdalene laundries. There is also evidence that Jewish children were taken away from their parents to raise as Catholics in the 19th century. In addition there was the witch hunts conducted by not only Catholics but Protestants as well. The abuses throughout history are a matter of record with the majority of the abused being women and children. This is not to say that women haven’t also been abusers and there is no excuse for them to be.

One only has to read the Old Testament and learn that it is full of violence such as in Deuteronomy 13:6, 8-15 where one is told to …”but you shall kill him; your hand shall be first against him to put him to death…” followed by…”You shall stone him to death with stones…” In the New Testament, Matthew 5:18-20 it tells that “… unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” In Thessalonians 1:6-9, “God deems it just to repay with affliction those who afflict you…” and there are many more verses similar to the above quoted that indicate that the God of the Bible is neither just nor fair. Imagine the load of guilt placed on the believers.

Even the Koran tells the men that if they died for Allah that they will be rewarded with virgins in heaven. Virgins? There was a protest march by Muslims in London last year and the signs were filled with hatred towards the West. Is it no wonder we have wars, rape and atrocities against women and children? Is it no wonder we have a world filled with guilt-ridden people?

It is also an abuse to change a culture by forcing a foreign religion upon them. Here in the U.S. this has happened to the American Indians. Through religious influence, children were taken away from their parents and homes and sent off to boarding schools in order to bring them in alignment with the established white culture. In Africa, young boys were taken away from their tribes and forced into a Catholic boarding school. In Hawaii Protestant missionaries attempted to change the native Hawaiian spiritual beliefs into alignment with Christianity as practiced by the missionaries. This is also a form of abuse. This is all in addition to war, rape, and other atrocities committed primarily on women and children.

Self-condemnation and self-abuse are the same. Based on fear, some people turn to drugs, alcohol, and among young girls and boys there is an epidemic of ‘cutting.’ This is taking a sharp instrument and cutting oneself in order to bleed. The cutting is usually not deep and the purpose of cutting is to let out the pain held inside. This is self-mutilation. In some African countries girls undergo genital mutilation from ages 3 to 10. Abuse is rampant whether it is perpetuated by the individual on self or by others.

Isn’t it about time for each of us to fess up to our own contributions to abuse? Once we recognize that we are contributors, we then can make choices not to participate. Abuse is now a choice. Isn’t it about time that we each realized that we are one piece of the Quilt of God? We were each created at the same time and I am not talking about the body. I am writing about the spiritual essence that inhabits our brain/body and that supersedes any religious dogmas. It is time for us to forgive ourselves and begin to live according to the true nature of God that lives within us.
God is not something outside the individual. It is time to look around and observe the suppression of humanity and the dogmas to keep God outside of the individual.

It is time for each of us to deprogram our selves and to be aware of how we treat others. It is important to allow others to be different and not to put our beliefs on them. It is time to take action. We are a rainbow of God's Quilt and together we all make a gorgeous portrait. Each of us can make a difference by saying 'no more!' to abuse in any form.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

A QUIET REVOLUTION - Part 1

There was a gathering of women from all over the world and a quiet revolution was occurring. The Third International Women’s Peace Conference put on by the Peacemakers, Inc. was held in Dallas, Texas from July 10-15, 2007. This was a monumental occasion with keynote speakers including three women Nobel Peace Prize Laureates.

When I first learned of the Third International Women’s Peace Conference in Dallas, Texas, I felt a strong pull to attend and I did. It was a journey of discovery and learning. It was an auspicious period for me because this conference was sandwiched in between Al Gore’s 7/07/07 Live Earth and 7/17/07 Fire the Grid. It was also meaningful for me because Dallas is the city of my birth in the 7th month – July.

I had no expectations, however I soon learned that this was a gathering of female warriors – peaceful warriors. Some had been militant and won Nobel Peace Prizes. Others came from a background of repression; bigotry, hate, torture, rape and almost every vile thing a man can do to a woman. I have named this A Quiet Revolution because it was non-political and crossed all religious boundaries. The time is now for women to exert their power in a non-violent way. There was no ‘bashing’ of men. It was a meeting of great minds who want change. In fact, men are welcome to join the women to make this a world where women and children are safe and conflicts can be settled by non-violent methods.

At the airport while waiting for the shuttle to take me into Dallas, I met a beautiful woman from Kenya who had just flown in from Boston. I thought it was interesting that we were two points of light coming from the opposite sides of the U.S. and meeting in Dallas to form a ‘V.’ Over one thousand women from 43 different countries and 32 U.S. states convened to discuss peace and to discuss peaceful solutions to the torture, abuse, killing and maiming of millions of women and children as well as men. We were women from various ethnic, religious and political backgrounds. Missing from this landmark event was the media. Time and Newsweek along with CNN, NBC and CBS should have covered this event.

Joining me on Wednesday was Louise Oliverio and together we attended workshops together and separately with each of us learning. There was no mention of forming protest groups, carrying signs and banners. No. This was a meeting of planning strategic plans of action using non-violence avenues.

Keynote speakers and Presentation leaders included such notables as Betty Williams, co-winner of the 1976 Noble Peace Prize for her work in uniting Northern Ireland to become what it is today. Her thrust today is helping the children of the world.

Gillian Sorenson, former UN Under-Secretary General, UN Assistant Secretary-General for External Relations and currently Senior Adviser of the UN Foundation – a non-profit organization shared with us her knowledge of the United Nations. I learned that I really knew very little about the United Nations other than the Security Council. There is much, much more occurring in the area of human rights. She said that it is not a perfect organization but it can be improved.

The opening ceremony featured the Honorable Leticia Shahani, Ph.D., former United Nations Assistant Secretary-General and later a Senator from the Philippines. In addition to her inspiring speech, the entertainment was spectacular and I was particularly taken with an acrobatic group of women who title is “The Fools” from New Mexico. They do acrobats on stilts and are awesome.

Betty Williams, a Nobel Peace Prize Laureate gave an emotional speech to the entire gathering. Betty was a co-recipient of her Nobel Peace award for contributing to the ending of the strife in Northern Ireland. She is a powerful woman whose thrust now is to champion the rights of children. Betty has traveled all over the world and she has had to deal with politics, economics and culture. Referring to Ireland, she said that she and her friend, both Catholics contacted Protestant women. They were all tired of the killing and maiming of children, husbands, brothers, sons and began day by day with a ‘cups of tea’ campaign. They would go into homes and over cups of tea began to find out what the others needed and wanted. She also said that on 9/11 35,615 women and children all over the world died from torture, rape and atrocities and no one noticed.

Williams is now building the first City of Peace for children in Italy. She has formed the World Centers of Compassion for Children International and is asking for contributions. The land, which was earmarked for disposal of nuclear waste, has been given to her non-profit group. To learn more of this please go to www.wccci.org. Betty shared that after she received the Nobel Peace Prize that she was asked to come to the Vatican by the Pope. As she walked through the palace, she noted the many paintings and sculptors by Michelangelo. Just as she was leaving the Pope said something needed to be done about world hunger. Betty replied, “Why don’t you sell some of these Michelangelo’s”. It was a long time before she was asked back.

We were a colorful array of women from around the world dressed in native garments and each with smiles and hope. There were folded paper cranes done by children of China. In China the crane is a symbol for longevity. We also had representatives from the International Council of Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers. There were women from many countries who head important organizations and all want to end violence towards women and children and to educate them. The service organizations of Dallas were well represented and there is an active organization representing refugees and attempting to find them homes. I learned of a ‘concentration’ facility in Taylor, Texas where illegal immigrants are incarcerated with most of the fathers being separated from their wives and children. The children are threatened with removal from their mothers if they don’t behave.

I understand there is a great deal of resentment against illegal immigrants. I can understand this, but if one were to reason it, instead of protesting wouldn’t it be better to become active and attempt to resolve this issue through non-violent methods? Instead of targeting the illegals, perhaps it would be better to go to the source of why they are coming into this country. Corporate America brings them in to work in their sweatshops. Immigration periodically rounds them up and sends them home. They are then recruited by Corporate America and it is a non-ending ugly game. I suggest targeting the ones hiring them. I urge each of you to research and find out who is behind the influx of illegal immigrants. Instead of complaining – take action.

Among the many women I met, there was camaraderie of compassion and enthusiasm to make a difference that by-passed cultures, religions and politics. There were Muslim women from the U.S. and other countries wearing their scarves. They interacted with women of Christian faiths. I spoke to one woman from Israel and her organization works with Palestinian women wanting to end the war. It is – as I understand it – illegal, however these two groups get together and ‘break bread’ by cooking meals for each other. My understanding is that these women as a whole want to end bigotry, injustice and prejudice.

I heard another term used for women who have been abused as ‘wreckage women.’ Dr. Sharon Welch, Chair of Religious Studies, U. of Missouri asked, “Is the U.S. a fool of force and a fool of history?” She quoted from a N.Y. Times article October 5, 2006 where the US Army and Marines have prepared new countersurgency doctrine that draws on lessons learned of Iraq and “makes protection of civilians bedrock element of strategy; doctrine warns against overly aggressive raids and mistreatment of detainees and stresses rapid development of local security forces.” It is something to think about this almost turn-about-face. There are nine points in the new manual. She went on to say that conservatives have a lack of compassion. We need to look at our trickster awareness and ask are we “artisans of hope, artisans of molding, artisans of design?”

There was a spectacular workshop on Leveraging for Technology. This will have to be another email. However, I will say that women can become changemakers and the greatest force for women in the media. We need voices for women and children of ethnic backgrounds. In Burma, the army of 4,000 is known as the School of Rape. Women all over the world do not trust mainstream media. There are three crucial areas that need to be addressed: women trafficking, HIV/AIDS and water sustainability.

A woman from the Navajo tribe in Arizona asked for help because the newspapers are giving us a diet of murder, robbery, sports and war. The Navajo Indians are sick from the effects of mining of oil, coal, uranium and power plants on their land. Large corporations are stripping their land and the air is polluted and the ground water poisoned.

The second Nobel Peace Prize Laureate was Rigoberta Menchu Tum, an indigenous Guatemalan of the Quiche-Maya ethnic group. She was the recipient in 1992 for her contributions for the ending of the Civil War that lasted from 1960-1996. This beautiful woman who said she was Mayan, shared her way of becoming peaceful within herself. She had seen many members of her family killed and this adversity fired her to do something and make a difference. This is what Rigoberta Menchu Tum said:

“We can make a light. We can make a difference in the lives of people…” She spoke of the Mayan calendar, as being an important date – a time and the time is very large. “This date is a beginning again…It is cosmology – a dark time and it is when we can begin anew…It means humans are good. We can begin again….My theme is how to develop creativity. Creativity is born out of our experiences…Many of us have suffered to take on leadership roles…Everyone who has suffered must work their way out and can be well again.”

She went on to say, “I have had many successes and this is to say I have lived fully…those of us who have suffered must find our spiritual fortune within us…Our spiritual fortune gives us a different perspective…” She has done a lot of meditation with a candle and she looks into it and feels the light. She takes a bath with flower petals and feels the negative energies coming out of the body. “What happens is we women don’t want to do it for us…We want to have someone to love us and for us to love ourselves.”

“We can be a leader who will be lights to others…It is important for leadership to be balanced…We have to cry. We have to laugh and that is when you will be well…Times are dark now…Values are lost…There is no connection between young people and adults…What is my success today is that we are a small energy in eternity…We are a small part of the total wisdom…That’s when we live with humility…We live in two clocks. One is the money clock and the counter-clockwise is the spiritual clock. The two clocks need to get to a time when they can coincide…

“We need to recover our values and our beginnings of family, society and schools…When we start an initiative we gather others to us…Some will say you’re nuts and others will say you are taking a step forward…Don’t ever lose your self-esteem…The majority is waiting for someone to do it for them. Ask them ‘what are you doing for women, children, poverty?’ and if they say ‘I can’t. You do it.’ Then say ‘Yes you can do it. Try…’ Peace is harmony and there is a misunderstanding of peace. Peace is harmony. We need to rescue the sentiments of peace.

“We need to have goals…I love life…Contribute to resolution of conflicts…There are many ways to support social transformation. By sending energy you can heal others and ease their pain and give hope…The key is to be well within me (you). We can build technology, hospitals, and scholarships for poor girls. Don’t do it for power…It’s a process and we have to change our mentality…To take leadership, women must have values. If not, we have nothing…Never give up the struggle.

“Try to make your dreams come true…Don’t say some day. Say ‘today I can do it. In my life I do those things today.’ Do not stay in the suffering…Take baths with flower petals.” Rigoberta Menchu has written 30 children’s stories. She said, “Be happy. Make parties. Plant trees…Life is what you want to make out of it.” She is now running for President of Guatemala this year.

This was the ‘up’ part of the conference. I have not included the stories of some of the women and that will be covered in Part 2 along with opportunities for making a change. On Friday night I heard Jody Williams from Vermont, a Nobel Peace Laureate speak and I will share that in part 2.

I attended a small reception for Betty Williams. There were only 25 of us there and I wondered how I managed to get an invitation. I learned more about her foundation and I urge those reading this to go to her website. At the suggestion of some women I met and spoke with, I facilitated a discussion forum on Saturday with the topic being Mary Magdalene. On Wednesday evening the Dallas Tourist Bureau hosted a reception for those of us attending. I learned also that Dallas County officials are now all Democrats having ousted the entrenched Republicans.

More to come…Bettye Johnson, July 17, 2007